Red Phoenix's Passion is for Lovers Collection (Boxed Set) Read online

  Tesse looked up in the seats grinning from ear to ear, but Luke was gone and her heart sank. She really wanted to talk to him afterwards, but at least she still had tomorrow.

  6 Days & Counting…

  Jerrod was a sweetheart and let her meet with Luke alone the next day. “I know you guys have things you need to talk about. And who knows if and when you will see him again.”

  “Are you sure?” Tesse asked. She was grateful for his thoughtfulness, but didn’t want it to cause friction between them.

  Jerrod smiled. “Yes, although a kiss of thanks would be appreciated.”

  Tesse took his face in both her hands and kissed him tenderly. When Jerrod pressed her close, she felt a stirring in her loins. It left her feeling confused and weak. Jerrod misinterpreted it as tiredness and went to the coffee vendor to get her a latte. “So, have a great day, Snuggle Bunny. I’ll meet up with you later to see how things went. Tell Luke goodbye for me.”

  She should have skipped classes that morning. Tesse was so distracted she couldn’t even take proper notes. She doodled the whole time, longing to be in Luke’s presence again. This time, Tesse wanted to keep the conversation light. No tears allowed.

  Wanting to enjoy every minute with him, Tesse raced to the cafeteria and was surprised to see that he was already there sitting alone at a table. Nobody sat near him. It reminded her of high school when the kids had left a wide space between themselves and Luke. His scars had nothing to do with who he was as a person. It pissed her off that he still had to put up with the unwarranted isolation even in the college setting.

  Tesse ran over to Luke with a big grin, wanting to make up for all the idiots in the world. “You’re early!”

  “Yeah, didn’t want to risk being late again.”

  “How long have you been waiting?” she asked, putting her backpack down and sitting close to him.

  “Oh, only a half-hour.”

  She chuckled. “You nut.”

  “I didn’t want you to worry.”

  Tesse loved that he cared so much. “So, what would you like, Luke? It’s my treat.”

  “Nope, I plan to buy lunch today.”

  “Too bad. I won’t take no for an answer and I’m going to pout if you don’t comply with my wishes.”

  Luke raised his eyebrow. “You sound an awful lot like the princess Tesse I knew from high school.”

  She thought back to her eighteenth birthday—the day the two of them had made love for the first and only time. “That princess sure had an amazing birthday.”

  His eyes reflected a mixture of love and pain. “It was a day I’ve never forgotten.”

  She had meant to keep things light and was already muddying the waters. To avoid further discomfort, Tesse jumped up from the table and asked, “So, what do you want for lunch?”

  He shrugged. “Whatever you’re having.”

  “Watch my stuff and I’ll be back in a jiff.”

  She couldn’t believe it. It was as if she was back in high school again sticking her foot in her mouth. Tread lightly, she chastised herself.

  Tesse purchased two grilled cheese, fries and drinks. On her way back to the table she overheard, “Doesn’t he remind you of Freddy Krueger? I can’t eat my lunch looking at that face.”

  Tesse “tripped” and spilled one of her drinks on the man-boy who said those words. She grabbed some extra napkins and handed them to the Neanderthal. She walked back to Luke with a smile tugging at her lips.

  “What happened?” he asked.

  “I’m a klutz. What can I say?” She passed Luke his lunch and sat down.

  “Do you want me to get you another drink?” Luke offered.

  “Nah, let’s just share this one.” Tesse slid the straw in the top and handed it to him. Luke took a sip and she immediately grabbed it back, drinking from the straw. It was childish she knew, but she liked sharing his straw.

  “I’ve missed that.”

  “What?” she asked, taking another long sip.

  “Your total acceptance of me.”

  Tesse held his hand, the one missing two fingers. “I wish everyone saw you the way I do. I get mad when they don’t.”

  “Oh, like that dude over there?”

  “Was I that obvious?” asked Tesse, feeling embarrassed that she’d been caught.

  “Only to me.”

  Tesse gazed into his ocean blue eyes. “The fact that everyone doesn’t realize the amazing person you are is a mystery to me.” She saw a look of longing in Luke’s eyes. It appeared he wanted to say something, but changed his mind at the last second.

  Taking a bite of his sandwich, he mumbled, “Good shit.”

  Tesse laughed. “Oh yeah, they only feed us the best shit here.” She took a huge bite, wanting to buy time as she contemplated what to say next.

  “Your singing last night was magnificent. I had tears in my eyes.”

  She smiled while chewing. Tesse wondered if he realized that she had been singing to him. “I’m glad you were there, Luke. I wanted to talk to you afterwards, but you were already gone.”

  Pain flitted across his eyes. “Well… I was so moved I couldn’t talk.”

  Her heart contracted. Luke still loved her with the same intensity. The truth was so did she, but their lives had taken such different paths. One of them would have to give up their dreams in order to become a couple again. She did not want to move to Africa and he was meant to be a doctor there. She knew it in her heart.

  “I am a little curious. Why does Jerrod call you Tesse, instead of Tessa? I thought that was my nickname for you.”

  She chuckled lightly. “It’s not what you think. I changed my legal name to Tesse after you left. It fit, just like you said.”

  Luke’s look of surprise was adorable. “Wow, how did your mom take it?”

  “Not well.”

  “How is your mother doing, anyway?”

  She huffed. “You never met her, did you? Let’s just say that she and I are not speaking to each other these days.”

  Luke was visibly upset. “Why?”

  “She wanted me to go into law. My mother has no use for singing and acting.”

  “How could she feel that way after hearing your voice?”

  Tesse rolled her eyes. “Like Julie would ever come to a performance. She feels I am wasting my time and her money.”

  Luke took her hand and pressed his lips against it, sending tiny shock waves of electricity up her arm. “If your mom heard you sing she would be your biggest fan. I’m sure of it.”

  Tesse was moved by his gesture, but snarled under her breath, “Oh, that would be the day—like when hell freezes over.” She read the concern in his eyes. “It’s okay, Luke. I don’t need my mother’s approval. I never have.” She looked at the clock and cringed. Her class was about to start and she didn’t want to say goodbye yet.

  Luke cleared his throat. “I guess this is it, huh?”

  Tesse felt the tears coming. She would be a fountain of waterworks if she didn’t leave soon. “I’m so glad you came.”

  “Me, too, Tesse. These last three years have been torture not knowing how you were. I’m grateful to find you doing so well. It’ll make it easier picturing you here.”

  “Uh-huh,” she nodded, tears already falling.

  “So… goodbye, I guess.” He went to give her a hug, but she needed to feel his lips on hers again. Tesse lifted her chin and kissed him. If Luke was surprised, he didn’t show it. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her long and hard. Her heart sped up as the electricity coursed between them.

  Tesse heard in the background, “How disgusting! Seeing that freak kiss a girl makes me want to hurl.”

  She grabbed onto his belt loops, pressing against him as her tongue danced over his lips and into his mouth. Luke put his hand on the small of her back and she melted. The connection was the next closest thing to making love that Tess had ever experienced. She whimpered in pleasure.

  She heard, rather than saw, the Neandertha
l vocally gag and leave the cafeteria. Tesse was happy he was gone.

  All that mattered was that she was in Luke’s arms again. He reluctantly pulled away from her. “I have to go…” She could see he was ready to sprint out the door, but she grabbed onto his arm.

  “No. Don’t go. Let’s go up to my room. I don’t care about my class. I need to be with you.”

  Luke nodded and picked up her backpack, heading out the door without another word. This time, she was the one following as he made his way to her dorm. She caught up to Luke, just like in high school. It made her smile.

  When they reached her dorm room, she locked the door behind her. Tesse turned to Luke, passion consuming all reasonable thought. “I want to make love to you again. I have ever since my eighteenth birthday.”

  His breathing was labored. “We probably shouldn’t.”

  “I don’t care,” she answered, moving over to the bed.

  “What about your boyfriend?”

  Tesse paused. “I don’t know.”

  “Then we shouldn’t. Unless you plan to leave Jerrod, there’s no reason to ruin what you have with him.”

  Tesse collapsed on the bed in defeat. “But what about us?”

  “I’m thinking only of you, Tesse. You’re already committed to Jerrod.”

  “But I want you, Luke. My body has needed you for three long years.”

  He grimaced. “Don’t tell me that. I’m not a saint, you know.”

  Tesse looked up at the ceiling. What did she want? “Why don’t you cuddle with me then? That’s not breaking any rules.”

  Luke moved over to her hesitantly, as if he didn’t trust her or himself. “We have to remain resolute, Tesse. I refuse to ruin your life a second time.”

  “As much as I’ve struggled these last three years, I’ve never regretted loving you, Luke.”

  He curled up next to her on the bed, pulling her close. Luke looked down on her and smiled as he swept away a strand of her blonde hair. “My beautiful Tesse.”

  She closed her eyes for a second, reveling in the feel of him. Why couldn’t this be her reality? Tesse opened her eyes and gazed into his. “I need you, Luke. You are like air to me.”

  He grunted in response. After a long pause he replied, “I am not what you need. You have a future ahead of you. You will change lives with that voice.”

  She snuggled closer, giggling into his chest. “I’ve never heard of a voice changing lives. Now as a doctor, you are guaranteed to make a difference.”

  “Don’t belittle yourself or your talent. I feel certain your voice will inspire others.”

  She kissed him lightly in gratitude, but kissed him a second time with more passion. “No, Tesse!” Luke pushed off the bed and backed away from her. “I can’t do this. It hurts too much to be close to you again.”

  “I’m sorry, Luke.”

  “I have to leave. I have to leave now or we will do something we can’t take back.” He headed towards the door.

  “No! Don’t go, Luke!” She jumped off the bed, wanting to stop him.

  “There is only one thing I can do for you now.” He opened the door and looked back at her. “I love you, Tesse.” Luke slammed the door behind him.

  By the time she wrestled it open, he was already halfway down the hall. Several of her dorm mates were staring at her, so she retreated into her room and cried.

  5 Days & Counting…

  Jerrod met her outside her first class the next morning. He was upset that she had refused to talk to him after rehearsal the night before. “Come on, Tesse, talk to me. I was worried all night. What happened?”

  “He’s gone,” she said dully.

  “For good?”

  “Yes.”

  “I heard that things got pretty heated in the cafeteria.”

  Tesse was horrified. “What? Do you have spies or something?”

  “No, Tesse. The two of you made quite a scene according to what I heard.”

  She’d forgotten how public they’d been when they kissed. “Well, you don’t have to worry. Luke left. He said he doesn’t want to ruin my life.”

  Jerrod asked point blank, “Do you still love the guy?”

  “I would be lying if I said I didn’t. But we have such different lives now. He wants to practice medicine in Africa and I want a career on Broadway. It would never work.”

  “So, I’m your plan B?”

  “No! I just… you’ve always known how I felt about Luke.”

  “Well, maybe I don’t like being your backup plan, Tesse.” Jerrod sulked away, leaving her alone.

  Tess felt like breaking down. Seeing Luke had made all her old feelings resurface and having him leave again was excruciating. On top of that, Jerrod was hurt by what happened between them. Things couldn’t get any worse, which was why Tesse tanked at rehearsal.

  “What’s wrong with you? You sound like a howling dog. This is unacceptable. Try it again!” She stayed until one in the morning rehearsing with Mr. Reagan. Finally, he gave up. “This is what I get for using untried talent. I won’t make that mistake again, Miss Hayes!”

  She hurried to her dorm, wanting to bury her head under her pillow and disappear from the world.

  Jerrod met her on the way. “Slow down. I need to talk to you Tesse.” When she didn’t respond, he added, “I can’t believe how rough Mr. Reagan was on you tonight.”

  “What? You saw all that?”

  “Yeah, I was waiting for you in the auditorium. I’m shocked he kept you until 1:00.”

  “Well, I really do suck. I can’t blame him.”

  “You’ve just had a rough day. You’ll do better tomorrow.”

  Tesse snorted. “I don’t see how.”

  “Are you tired?”

  “Not really… No, not at all.”

  “Why don’t you come to my apartment then? A little wine might help you relax.”

  The thought of trying to keep quiet in her dorm while her roommate slept sounded hideous. Jerrod’s suggestion was a good one, so she agreed. “Why not?”

  They both veered to the left. Jerrod had his own apartment walking distance from the campus. His parents were well off like her mom. Only difference, they actually supported their son’s aspirations.

  Jerrod turned on the lights as he motioned her into his place. Tesse had been there before with their group of friends. This was the first time they’d been there alone as a couple and there was a completely different vibe to it.

  He went directly to the kitchen, retrieving two wine glasses and uncorking the bottle. “Go ahead and turn on the TV if you like.”

  Tesse looked at the black screen. “Nah, I don’t feel much like watching TV.”

  He handed her a glass and sat down beside her. “I hope you like pinot noir.”

  “I’m not sure,” she answered. Tesse took a sip and found she liked the fruity flavor of the red wine. It wasn’t acidic like she was expecting. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

  “Good.” Jerrod settled back on the couch and stared at her.

  Tesse took another sip before asking, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

  “I’m sorry for flying off the handle this morning. Tesse, you’re right. You’ve always been honest with me about Luke. I know he is your first love, and first loves never really die. I get that. I’m glad both of you recognize that you don’t have a future together. Your talents would be wasted in an African village, and he would be lost following you around instead of helping the sick.”

  Tess looked down at her glass. Jerrod was right. It was an impossible situation. Still…

  “I wish that I had been your first, but I’m not. I get to be your second and hopefully, if things work out, your last. Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I realize I am okay with that.”

  Tesse studied Jerrod. He truly loved her, had for two years now. Even knowing that she still loved Luke, he wanted to be with her. “You are one of a kind, Jerrod.”

  “So are you, Tess. I’ve never felt this way about
another woman.” He leaned forward to kiss her. Although she was still a jumble of emotion, she needed to soak in his love. Tesse met him halfway. It was a gentle kiss, but when Tesse tried to pull back he held onto her. He kissed her more deeply, flicking his tongue into her mouth. Her body responded eagerly to his passion, but she wasn’t mentally prepared for it. She broke the embrace and grabbed her wine, taking several large gulps.

  “How do you feel about me, Tess?”

  She gazed at him for several moments before answering. “You have been my best friend for two years.” She was afraid to voice her thoughts, but forged on. “I have always found you attractive and I’ve wondered what it would be like to be intimately involved with you.”

  “I’m right here, Tesse.”

  “But I’m a mess.”

  “You call the shots and I will follow,” Jerrod said, caressing her cheek lightly.

  Tesse closed her eyes. Why did it feel like she was betraying Luke when he was the one who had left? It would be a shame to lose this relationship loving someone she couldn’t have. “I doubt I’ll be worth the aggravation,” she confessed, looking up from her drink.

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” Jerrod replied. He took Tesse’s glass from her, putting it down on the table before planting a passionate kiss on her lips. His kisses did not produce the electrical current of Luke’s, but they were sensual and enticing.

  Tesse left a short time later feeling relaxed enough to sleep. She realized that even after losing Luke for a second time, she could survive. She had Jerrod and she had her singing to see her through the heartache.

  4 Days & Counting…

  Rehearsal went better than the day before, but Mr. Reagan wasn’t satisfied. “Do you remember that performance you gave me a few days ago? That’s what I judge you by now. Sorry, even though this is better than yesterday, it still does not compare. I don’t know what else I can do to motivate you, Miss Hayes.”

  “I can do this,” she assured him.