Hope's First Christmas (Brie's Submission Book 19) Page 2

  Following the dangerous rescue in Russia, Rytsar had forgiven Samantha for her wrongs against him. Still, there remained a level of tension between the two Dominants, and that had seemingly been transferred to Brie.

  Despite it, Brie was determined to make the Domme feel comfortable while she visited their home. She wanted to honor Sir’s long-standing relationship with the Domme.

  After readying the room, Brie waited nervously by the door until she heard Sir’s Lotus Evora pull up.

  She opened it to greet them and was struck again by how beautiful Ms. Clark looked in her formfitting business suit and sexy stilettos.

  “Mrs. Davis,” she said curtly as she walked past Brie and into the house.

  The moment that Ms. Clark saw the giant tree, she turned on Sir. “What’s happened to you?”

  He chuckled. “One word—Durov.”

  She looked back at the tree. “And here I thought it was Brie who had made you soft.”

  Sir glanced at Brie with a look of pride. “Brianna and I challenge each other in every aspect of our lives, but we also respect each other’s boundaries.”

  He took Brie’s hand and kissed it in front of Ms. Clark, looking into Brie’s eyes as he did so. Brie could hear his voice in her head saying, I am well pleased, and it made her heart swell with pride.

  Ms. Clark tsked. “Well, it’s obvious that Durov doesn’t respect boundaries.”

  “Actually, we have an understanding between us, so I had to agree to the tree.” Sir glanced at the tall pine tree decorated in blue and gold with accents of red. “Hasn’t Brie done a beautiful job of decorating it?”

  Ms. Clark stared hard at him. “Thane, I’m struggling to accept this unexpected change in you.”

  His smile was easy when he answered, “If you aren’t constantly growing, then you are stagnant.”

  “Are you trying to insinuate that I’m stagnant?”

  Sir chose not to answer her question directly. “Samantha, you told me how shocked you were by how I’ve changed, and I’ve simply answered you.”

  But it was obvious Ms. Clark thought otherwise as she glanced back at the tree and stared at it with a far-off look, as she digested his words.

  After several moments, she stated matter-of-factly, “It’s a nice tree, Brianna.”

  Brie looked at Ms. Clark in surprise, shocked that the Domme had given her a compliment. She gave Sir a questioning glance and saw that he was quietly observing Ms. Clark.

  Brie could read the concern on his face and wondered what he was thinking.

  Ms. Clark let out a drawn-out sigh and turned away from the Christmas tree. “So, where’s the baby?”

  “She’s down for her nap,” Brie explained. “Would you like me to get her?”

  “Don’t disturb the child. I was simply curious.”

  Ms. Clark turned to Sir. “It must be difficult to be a father and still remain true to your calling.”

  “It is a challenge, yes. But you know I’ve always enjoyed challenges.”

  She let out a sharp laugh. “Well, you certainly proved that by remaining friends with me all these years.”

  Sir met her gaze and said in a serious tone, “I never abandon my friends.”

  Ms. Clark actually teared up, which floored Brie.

  “No, you’ve always been there for me, Thane.”

  She had never seen the Domme in such a vulnerable state before. It was unnerving.

  The doorbell rang, interrupting the conversation.

  Brie went to answer it, explaining to Sir that she was expecting a package. When she saw the box on the porch, she cried, “It came!”

  “What is it, babygirl?”

  Brie smiled at him as she hugged the box. “My mom sent their Nativity set to us. She and I used to set it up every year when I was a little girl.” Brie smiled as she looked at the box. “It’s one of my favorite memories of Christmas. My mom told me she wants Hope to have the same memories growing up.”

  “That was very thoughtful of her,” Sir replied.

  But Ms. Clark snorted. “First a tree? Now a Nativity set? You are becoming completely vanilla before my very eyes.”

  “It has nothing to do with becoming vanilla,” he corrected her. “I want to fill my daughter’s life with traditions that she can look back on and hold onto as an adult—just as my father did for me.”

  Ms. Clark shrugged. “I wish my childhood memories brought me comfort, but they’re all connected to my brother, Joseph, and it hurts too much to think about it.”

  She now had Brie’s full attention. This was the first she’d ever heard that Ms. Clark had a brother.

  “That surprises me, Samantha, because you don’t avoid me even though I closely resemble him.”

  Sir looks like her brother?

  Brie did her best to remain calm, but she was rocked by that shocking revelation.

  Ms. Clark looked at him, stating hesitantly, “You insisted I separate the two of you, and I have fought every day to do that.”

  “So, it’s still a struggle for you even after all these years?” Sir asked, sounding astonished.

  Ms. Clark suddenly looked uncomfortable. “I never told you because…I knew it would upset you, Thane.” She looked at him in earnest. “I couldn’t bear it if you cut me out of your life. It would be too much after everything that’s happened.”

  Sir cleared his throat. “Honestly, I’m shocked, Samantha.”

  The fearful look Ms. Clark gave Sir made it obvious that she regretted having said anything.

  “I understand grief never ends after losing someone you love deeply,” he told her in an even tone. “You and I both know that, but for it to still be so fresh for you deeply troubles me.”

  “What are you saying, Thane?” she whimpered.

  Sir’s look of concern turned into one of compassion when he saw the fear in her eyes. “After all these years, do you really think I would abandon you now, Samantha?”

  “But, you were adamant that I never think of Joseph when I’m around you. And still, it’s impossible for me.” Brie noticed her hands were shaking when she said, “I wouldn’t survive if I lost you, too.”

  Ms. Clark’s voice sounded so broken that Brie felt compassion for her.

  In that moment, Brie suddenly understood how traumatic it must have been for Ms. Clark the day Sir’s plane crashed. Brie vividly remembered the beautiful bouquet that the Domme had sent to her when Sir was fighting for his life.

  Ms. Clark must have been crazy with fear that he would die, but she had kept her distance out of respect for Rytsar, whom she had assumed was watching over Sir at the time.

  Seeing the Domme like this, Brie felt a wave of sympathy for her. All these years, Ms. Clark had been secretly mourning the loss of her brother.

  The way the Domme treated Sir had always confused Brie. She had always acted more like a fiercely protective sister than a friend to Sir.

  It all made sense now.

  But Brie would never have guessed that Sir had essentially become Joseph’s replacement in Ms. Clark’s life.

  “Samantha, I wish you had spoken to me about this sooner,” Sir stated.

  Ms. Clark shook her head. “It wasn’t worth the risk to me.”

  “So instead, you’ve suffered needlessly all these years, holding onto his ghost rather than moving forward?”

  “I couldn’t face losing your friendship on top of everything else I’ve lost. Can’t you understand that, Thane?”

  “What I understand is that you’ve kept your grief buried for so long, you will need a therapist to unravel all the emotions you’ve repressed. You’ve run away long enough. I’m afraid that my presence in your life is at the root of the issue.”

  Ms. Clark’s eyes widened in fear. “No! I wouldn’t be here without you. Don’t you dare leave me now.” Her voice broke with emotion, and it seemed to Brie that she was on the verge of breaking down.

  Sir put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. Brie and I will act as your support through the process, but you must promise me that you will seek professional help. It is no longer a choice, Samantha. It’s obvious you are incapable of moving past this on your own.”

  Ms. Clark crossed her arms and stared at him in defiance.

  Sir gazed into her eyes and said, “I know it doesn’t seem possible now, but there will come a time when you can think back on your brother and smile.”

  Ms. Clark shook her head violently, the tears returning to her eyes. “Never…”

  Putting his hands on both of her shoulders, he stated firmly, “Yes, you will. I saw my father shoot himself in the head. While that memory will never leave me, I have many others that I choose to embrace. It makes it possible to remember him with a sense of joy.”

  She stared at Sir, looking as if she desperately wanted to believe him.

  “Trust me.”

  Ms. Clark fiddled with a button on her dress. “You’re not angry with me for hiding this from you all these years?”

  Her voice reminded Brie of an anxious child.

  “Angry? No.” Sir’s expression softened. “However, I am disheartened to learn you’ve wasted so many years suffering in silence.” Sir glanced at Brie. “But maybe, like me, you needed someone to push you in the right direction.”

  Ms. Clark turned to face Brie. “You’ve had a greater influence over him than I thought.”

  Brie met Ms. Clark’s hard gaze and said simply, “I love him.”

  Pain flashed in Ms. Clark’s eyes, but she nodded to Brie before turning away.

  A Confession

  Later that evening, while Sir was off meeting with a client, Brie opened the box her mother had sent. Inside, was a decorative green box marked with her mother’s beautiful handwriting:

  Bennett Family Nativity

  Just seeing the old box made Brie’s heart burst with happiness. Even though she didn’t consider herself a religious person, Brie had always loved the story of the Nativity.

  Looking at Hope, Brie said with a smile, “This is a special tradition my mommy shared with me when I was a little girl.” Reaching out, she playfully tweaked her daughter’s small toes. “And now I am going to share it with you, sweet pea.”

  Brie lifted the lid and breathed a sigh of joy when she saw the carefully wrapped pieces that made up the set.

  She heard Ms. Clark emerge from the guest bedroom and watched her walk toward the kitchen. When she saw Brie with the lid in her hands she asked, “Do you mind if I watch?”

  Normally, Brie would have balked at the request, but after today’s conversation, she felt differently toward Ms. Clark. She no longer felt as intimidated by her.

  “Sure.”

  Ms. Clark walked over to the couch to join her.

  Brie was kneeling on the floor next to the coffee table. Using the bonsai tree as a backdrop for the simple Nativity scene, Brie took out the three wooden pieces that made up the stable and joined them together, setting it on the table as she explained to Hope, “Mary was ready to give birth and Joseph…” As soon as she said the name, Brie stopped and glanced nervously at Ms. Clark. She realized it might be upsetting for her.

  “Go on,” Ms. Clark insisted, showing no emotion in her expression.

  Looking back at Hope, Brie continued hesitantly. “All of the inns in Bethlehem were full…but there was one innkeeper who gave the couple permission to use his stable for the night.”

  Brie reached into the box and picked up the star. She carefully unwrapped it while she said, “That night, Mary gave birth to her son, Jesus, under a star that had appeared in the sky.”

  She hung it on the bonsai tree. Taking the tiny wooden manger out of the box, Brie placed it inside the stable. “There was no crib, so they put the baby in a manger full of straw.”

  “From the east, three wise men came to see the newborn, bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” Brie unwrapped each of the wise men dressed in their silks and finery, as well as their camels which were laden with gifts. She showed each one to Hope before placing them on the table.

  “The shepherds in the east also came to honor the baby.” Brie especially enjoyed unwrapping the shepherds. She loved their scraggly beards, simple clothing, and the look of reverence on their faces.

  “Joseph and Mary stood next to the manger, proudly watching over their newborn son.” With reverence, Brie unwrapped the couple and placed them at the head of the manger.

  She then reached into the box, pulling out the individual animals, explaining, “The animals in the stable felt protective of the baby and lay near him.” She smiled as she set the cow and the donkey on either side of the manger and then placed the tiny lamb near Mary.

  “Then an angel came down from Heaven and declared, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth, peace and goodwill toward men.’” Unwrapping the angel with her wings outspread, Brie placed her behind Joseph and Mary.

  “And this is the little baby who gave hope to the world,” Brie told her, showing her daughter the beautifully painted child.

  Brie laid the child in the manger and explained to her daughter, “Every Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus who embraces all who seek forgiveness in His name.”

  Ms. Clark had remained silent until the end. Brie held her breath when the Domme opened her mouth to speak. She fully expected her to say something derogatory.

  Instead, she said in an almost wistful voice, “Although I don’t believe in all that religious crap, there is something alluring about the idea of a person being washed free of their sins.”

  Brie nodded, surprised to hear Ms. Clark speaking so personally. She met Brie’s gaze when she said with remorse, “What I wouldn’t do to take back what happened that night…”

  Her eyes were drowning in sadness, making Brie’s heart ache for her.

  “All I wanted to do was get him safely to bed.”

  Brie had thought she was talking about Joseph until Ms. Clark said, “But Rytsar insisted that I stay and come to his bed. How could I deny him?”

  A cold chill went down Brie’s spine when she realized Ms. Clark was speaking about the night she violated Rytsar.

  “….I’d never felt such red-hot chemistry with a person, and I have never experienced it since,” she continued.

  Brie’s heart started racing, unsure this was something she wanted to know.

  Ms. Clark stared at Brie, admitting, “Rytsar is a force of nature. It was true then as much as it is now. So, when he asked me to his bed, I went.”

  The intensity of her gaze, along with the tone of her voice let Brie know she was speaking to her as an equal—two women who had both experienced the power of the man—and not a Dominant talking to a sub.

  “We were rough with each other…we always were, each of us wanting control of the other…but that’s when I made the fatal error. I needed a shot of liquid courage to do what I wanted. When I discovered Rytsar had Patron hidden away, I took a shot, and then another.”

  Ms. Clark looked down at the floor, the memory obviously causing her great pain. “My family has a long history of alcoholism, and that particular tequila makes me crazy. All the boys I had before thought it was cute how wild I would get when I drank the stuff, and I wanted to be irresistible to Rytsar that night. I needed him to want me more than any other woman he’d ever known.

  She paused for a moment. “But…I didn’t understand the great harm I was capable of.”

  Goosebumps rose on Brie’s skin.

  “Rytsar had me take the role of submissive on several occasions prior to that night, and each time I learned something new about myself.”

  She looked at Brie sadly. “I wanted to give that gift to him…”

  Brie shook her head, knowing Rytsar was incapable of submitting to anyone.

  Ms. Clark explained, “I truly believed I was the Dominant he needed to make that happen. I had planned it all out in my head before, so when the opportunity presented itself, I was too turned on and drunk on Patron to control myself. I craved the idea of having the great Rytsar Durov submit to me.”

  She closed her eyes. “I took his commands to stop as simply his Russian stubbornness. I was certain that once I’d broken down his resistance, I would have him eating out of my hand. I was so sure of it. I even used his cat o’ nines, wanting him to know the power behind his instrument. But…”

  She opened her eyes, tears streaming down her face. “I didn’t know what I was doing and I hurt him…I hurt him so badly.” The look in her eyes was one of horror. “It was like I suddenly came out of a stupor after I saw the damage I had done…”

  Her lips began trembling. “I couldn’t face it. So, instead of helping him, I ran, hoping against hope that it was a bad dream and I would wake up from it.”

  She swallowed several times, struggling to regain her voice. “I didn’t believe it was real until Thane came to check on me. One look at his face and I knew…”

  She let out a ragged sigh. “I had to face my own brutality—and it was terrifying.”

  Ms. Clark sat there in silence, seeming to relive that moment as Brie watched.

  She shook her head slowly, a look of devastation on her face. “I murdered our relationship that night. I knew it in my heart, but I wasn’t willing to face the fact that I’d killed what we had. I tried everything to win back his trust, but there was no going back.”

  She met Brie’s gaze again. “Do you know what that’s like?”

  When Brie didn’t answer, she shrugged, stating dismissively. “Of course you wouldn’t. You’re Little Brie Perfect.”

  Her derogatory nickname irritated Brie, but she chose to ignore it. It was clear that the anger Ms. Clark was aiming at her was actually directed at herself.

  Brie replied in a soft but somber tone, “You must be relieved that Rytsar finally forgave you. He is not a man to do that easily.”

  “I am…but it hasn’t actually changed anything. What I did sixteen years ago cannot be washed away. It will always stand between us.” She glanced at the Nativity. “That’s why some fairy tale about sins being taken from a person is compelling to me. To face a new day without the burden of what I’ve done would be freeing on a level you can’t understand.”

  -->